Mark Feinman knows he's going to be big in showbusiness...it's just a matter of time. In a flash of inspiration he decides to tour a Shakespeare play around Europe. Undaunted by his inexperience and lack of organisational skills, he gathers together probably the worst cast of misfits ever assembled. The only thing that unifies Vagabond Theatre Company is that none of them have ever acted in their lives. Their situation is made more painful by the meteoric rise of their rivals, the massively successful, all singing, all dancing (all blonde!) Theatre Company, led by ex-matinee idol Andrew Fontaine. But the arrival of the mysterious and beautiful Anya spurs them on to their London premier at a strip club in Soho, hosted by Magic Bob. After a sublimely disastrous opening in London the young hopefuls flee to Edinburgh and then onto Paris in search of fame, fortune, sexual adventure and a decent meal. Once in the French capital things go from bad to worse resulting in begging, stealing and ...